ALWAYS ON YOUR SIDE

(I have had quite a few emails and conversations asking me to start writing again. I have been in a rough place, and quite frankly, I haven't had the emotional bandwidth. That being said, today is Easter Sunday - a time for new beginnings and resurrection - so here goes.)

As many of you know, my wife Josephine left in mid-December. I still have no idea where she is or if she is alright. Since that time I have been struggling with depression and loneliness. My faith is strong and thanks to three groups of people, the Foothills Church of Christ here in Reno and the Tammany Oaks Church of Christ in Mandeville, LA - and my wonderful kids Sarah and Nathan - I KNOW I am loved.

The reason I am writing today, rather than being in a fetal position on my bed, is that I know there are others in the same pain.

For nineteen years I have stood side-by-side with Josephine. I helped her get her B.S. and MSW. Stood by her through various troubles that came our way. I have always been the supportive and loving husband I thought I could be. Then - Whoosh! - My entire life was uprooted and I was life feeling like the words of this song:

"Well is they say that love in in the air, never is it clear

How to pull it close and make it stay

If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away

Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why

Was it you that kept me wondering through this life

When you know that I was always on your side"

Yes, I spend a great deal of wondering why. All self justification aside, I still do not have an answer to that question. Intellectually, I know I will get through this, but it is the emotional side of me that is a train wreck. Mainly because I do not know where I am going or what I am supposed to do. All I have left is to throw myself at the feet of a compassionate God and ask for His grace in my time of need.

I wish there was some easy 1,2,3 formula to get through this but there isn't.  (I will try one a bit later) Sometimes I think suffering is just that, suffering. Many of us are willing to concede that we have had enough, yet it keeps on coming. The words in that little picture are very true and not some pie-in-the-sky psychobabble. I am a stronger man because of the things I have faced in my life. In reality, I am thankful for every scar that is on my heart because each one shows a time I had to place my faith in the God of the universe. Yes, even He wants me to be whole.

In Psalm 34:17-20 Eugene Peterson translates it this way in The Message.

"Is anyone crying for help?

God is listening, ready to rescue you.

If your heart is broken,

you'll find God right there;

if you're kicked in the gut,

he'll help you catch your breath.

Disciples so often get in trouble;

still, God is there every time.

He's your bodyguard, shielding every bone;

not even a finger gets broken."

For a person who does not share my faith - those words are nonsense. To me they are a promise from a Father that always keeps His promises. No matter how bad this whole thing gets, I know He is There and Not Silent. 

Since I am still in the midst of this cyclone all I can do is give some advice. It may change after I either land in Kansas or Oz, but here goes:

1. Cling to your faith.
2. Find a loving body of fellow believers. (This can be tricky. Make sure they understand that we all suffer and want to help you. Avoid legalistic and judgmental people - they always want to assign blame).
3. Get out of the house.
4. Cling to your faith.

Let's see how this goes as I continue my journey. Below is wonderful song be Johnny Cash that ,might help.

Peace

~Al

ALONE

~In December of 2013 my wife, Josephine, went off of her medication and suffered from an apparent psychotic break.

After sending out horrible emails about me and other hurtful things -- 

She Left.

I have no idea where she is or even if she is still alive.

The pain I have suffered has been horrendous.

I am writing this because I want to get out what is bottled up inside of me.

The song below is one of the most beautiful songs I have heard.

It also communicates where my heart is right now.~

As a person who was abandoned by my mother at six weeks of age, abandonment is a very fearful thing for me. As I sit in this house alone I constantly see things that remind me of Josephine. After almost twenty years of sharing, defending and loving a person -- the silence is deafening. My children are now adults and I am just an old man who is left with memories. I guess I am sharing this because I want you to know that I am a broken person, as are you. Just because I am a person who is seen as a person with answers, doesn't mean I do not experience the pain that others do.

What I will say is I have heard a phrase over and over from people,

"God will not allow you to face more than you can handle."

I thought I would take a minute and explain where that quote has its origins and why it is not true. This is a misquotation of 1 Corinthians 10:13, which actually says:

"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.

God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability,

but with the temptation he will also provide

the way to escape, 

that you may be able to endure it." (ESV)

Now, not to be cruel to people who are trying to help and are at a loss for words, this passage is talking about temptation not when your whole world collapses around you. It also makes the person who is suffering want to say, 

"I am at my wits end and I really cannot endure this. Why is God punishing me?"

I believe another passage is helpful, at least it is to me. Jesus knew we would be faced with troubles. The Christians of the first century faced persecution so intense that it would often cost them their lives. He knew that in this world we would face troubles. Often times, they are more than we can bear. So, during this time in my life, I have found my faith increased and my prayer life energized. I know this is more than I can handle! I throw myself on the faith and mercy of Jesus. His words are here to be a source of comfort.

"Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden,

and I will  give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you,

and learn from me,

for I am gentile and lowly in heart,

and you will find rest for your souls.

For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light"

(Matthew 11:28-30 - ESV)

I am not trying to give you a pie-in-the-sky  response to suffering. I am saying, that for me, the only place I have left to turn is my faith in Jesus Christ.

I have no idea where this path will lead, but I do know who is with me.

Thank you for your time.

Grace

~Al

Remind Me

~Please Allow the Words of This Song to Encourage You~

Labels are difficult to avoid. Most of us when asked to tell someone who we are respond with our vocation. I am a plumber, homemaker, minister, police officer or whatever. We do that to keep from telling people who we feel we are. I am a failure, a loser, an addict, divorced, lonely, depressed, incapable or some other label we have chosen to describe our inner hurts. Often those labels have come from a parent or other authority figure and we believed them and they stuck. 

I was recently listening to a message by Joel Osteen where he spoke of "wormy" thinking. The concept grabbed me and it made sense. Over our lives we have been told who and what we are. During that same time those labels built a cocoon around us and trapped us inside. We struggle inside that cocoon and we reinforce  the walls with wormy thinking. We have accepted that we are a worm and the idea of breaking free is just a distant and unattainable dream. Just as that beautiful butterfly was never meant to stay in its cocoon - neither are you!

Sometimes we forget that we are beloved by God; the Creator and Sustainer of the universe. We were created in His image. From passages like John 3:16:

"For God so loved the world that he he gave his only

begotten son That whosoever believe on him shall not perish but have everlasting life."

To Jeremiah 1:5

"Before I formed you in the womb

I knew you,

and before you were born 

I consecrated you..."

There are times when the struggles and stresses of our life are so overwhelming we long to crawl back into our cocoon and wallow in self-pity. We forget the grace of God. I would like to remind you today that you are loved and that God does not look at where you have been -- He sees what you can become. I hope in some small way God can use these words to remind you that you are valuable and loved.

Peace

~Al

COME TO ME

Sometimes all we need are the words of a song to bring us to a place where we stop and remember how much God loves us.

May God Richly Bless You

~Peace

Al

LOSING MY RELIGION

~Please give this song a listen before reading~

R.E.M. just broke up as a group after 30 years of great music, they have always been one of my favorite groups. 

I have been doing a great deal of reading about the decline of churches in the Western World. Gallup did a survey in 2008 and the Barna Group did similar work in 2009 -- they came out with these results:

• Between 1948 and 2008 the percentage of Americans who identified themselves with some sort of Christianity has dropped from 91% to 77%.
• Even though 77% of Americans claim a Christian faith, only 59% are affiliated with any church.
• America is now sharing the same rates of decline as Western European countries.
• Church leaders from America and Europe are now asking Christians in Africa and South America why their churches are growing.
• A good example is the Anglican Church, the Church of England. In all of the UK there are 13.4 million members professing the Anglican faith. The number in Africa is 38.6 million. (BBC)
• Mainline Protestant denominations in America are also seeing a mass exodus.
• The Catholic Church, rocked by the blatant cover-ups of child molestation, likewise are seeing their numbers drop in America and Western Europe.

There are two books have really caught my eye over the past few months. They are:

Unchristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity ...and Why it Matters by David Kinnaman.

See below for link

And his second book: You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church and Rethinking Faith.

See below for link

If you are a Christian, you should pick these up. You probably won't like what you read. These books were written after research was done with the age group from 16-29. These are the kids we raised and they heard us talk about family values, and saw divorce. They heard us talk about living holy lives and saw clergy and church leaders embroiled in moral catastrophes. They heard us say that the Bible is the Word of God and saw division, fracturing and in-fighting over stupid and minuet points of doctrine.  We would read to them about the simple life of Jesus and they watched us amass more and more of the trappings of a materialistic world. They, like many others - just gave up on the whole thing.  The main areas they find fault with Christians from Unchristian are these:

• Hypocrisy ("Everyone in my church gave me advice about how to raise my son, but a lot of the time they seemed to be reminding me that I have no husband -- and besides, most of them were not following their own advice. It made it hard to care what they said. They were not practicing what they preached." Victoria, 24)
• Get Saved ("Christians are too concerned with converting people. They are insincere. All I ever hear is 'Get Saved' I tried that whole 'Jesus thing' already. It didn't work for me before, and I am not interested now." Shawn, 22)
• Anti-homosexuality ("Many people in the gay community don't seem to have issues with Jesus but rather those claiming to represent him today. It's very much an 'us-versus-them' mentality, as if a war has been declared. Of course each side thinks the other fired the first shot." Peter, 34)
• Sheltered ("Christians enjoy being in their own community. The more they seclude themselves, the less they can function in the real world. So many Christians are caught in the Christian 'bubble'." Jonathan, 22)
• Too Political (Christians are primarily motivated by a political agenda and promote right-wing politics. "Looking at it from the outside today, this message seems to have been lost in exchange for an aggressive political strategy that demonizes segments of society." Brandon, 32)
• Judgmental ("Christians talk about hating the sin and loving sinners, but the way they go about things, they might as well call it what it is. They hate the sin and the sinner." Jeff, 25)

Now before you get defensive, please read on. I am sure I lost some readers with just the list above.

I believe that there is a connection between the decline of Christianity in the Western World and among the next generation. When Jesus ministered to people, they were the marginalized. He spent his time with tax collectors, harlots, rough fishermen, political extremists - one disciple was Simon the Zealot and even some gentiles. The mainstream religious leaders opposed him at every front until they could orchestrate his public execution. Christianity began as a bottom up movement. It wasn't affiliated with the power structures of its day. Over the 2,000 years since that time, it became a major player in the powers-that-be. Even today, the Church does not want to give up its grasp on power. We are currently in an election cycle and we hear about the "Evangelical"or "Catholic" votes. Politicians placate to these demographics and are attempting to capture that power base. 

This is the same Church that Jesus described in these words:

"At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked.

'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?'

He called a little child and had him stand among them.

And he said:

'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like

little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child

is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

(Matthew 18:1-4 / NIV)

The explosive growth of Christianity in South America and Africa should shame us in the Western World. The New English Bible translates the first beatitude in Matthew 5 as follows:

"Blessed are those who know their need of God, 

for to them belongs the kingdom of God"

The words of Jesus still resonate with those who have been marginalized. The Western World stands amazed that the Third World is embracing Christianity. We are so sophisticated, educated, scientific and intellectually superior - we have no need of God.  As for our young people, what do we expect? Aside from the list above, they have been raised with MTV, the Internet and instant access to knowledge. Our kids have grown up skeptical. If we could abandon the whole; Who has the biggest church? Who has the most followers? Who is right? -- and focus on the ministry Jesus called us to, we may just start to see that Christianity is relevant. Jesus called us to be servants not masters. He called us to be a source of love acceptance, reconciliation and forgiveness, NOT prejudice, judgment, division, elitism and various political agendas. I am a citizen of the Kingdom of God. I pray that I can be more like Jesus in the ways I interact with those around me.

In the meantime -- love your kids and one another!

Peace, ~Al

HOPE

~Please Watch This Short Clip From Shawshank Redemption*~

*For those with sensitive ears, it does have one "bad" word in it


I have made it so you will be directed to You Tube so you can see it in full screen. Please come back and read below.

Hope. The Christian hope is not a wondering if something will happen, but the confident anticipation of what we know will surely come to pass. Some might find it ironic that I would use Stephen King to define hope. As Tim Robbins says, "Hope is within us". In today's vernacular, hope and wish have become synonymous. I hope it snows becomes, I wish it would snow.

Hope is deep within us, it is at our center, as a Christian I would say it is empowered by the Holy Spirit. Hope is what sustains us when the world is falling in around us. It is the True North Star that gives direction to our inner compass. We, and we alone decide if we will embrace hope or give in to fear.

In the concentration camps of Nazi Germany, their primary method of control was to destroy hope. "The Red Cross is delivering blankets in two weeks." Then nothing would come. "We are looking for skilled carpenters and plumbers." Then they would be gathered up and exterminated in the showers. You see, if you can build hope and then rip it away, you have a shot to get the person to give up - to lose hope. This was described in,  Man's Search for Meaning by Vicktor Frankl, as he recounted his days in the Death camps. During 1942 - 1945 he slaved in four different camps including Auschwitz.

http://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/0807014273/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1330377543&sr=1-1

A great deal of us are facing troubles in our lives. We are uncertain about our jobs, homes and the economy in general. Hope tells me that I will preserver through these tough times. I have been through tough times before and I always wind up through them. I may not be where I wished I would be, but I am definitely where I hoped to be -- That being through the trouble. The passage in the New testament that gives me the most peace is in Romans 5: 2-5. Again I will share from The Message translated by Eugene Peterson:

"We throw open our doors to God

and discover at the same moment that he has already

thrown open his door to us.

We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand

-- out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory,

standing tall and shouting our praise.

There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise

even when we are hemmed in with troubles,

because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us,

and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue,

keeping us alert for whatever God will do next.

In alert expectancy (hope) such as this,

we're never feeling shortchanged.

Quite on the contrary--

we can't round up enough containers to hold everything

God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!"

All I can say is, do not let anyone or any set of circumstances rob you of the hope that is within you. Ask for help in your troubles. Ask God to help you see beyond them. Look to your North Star and plot your course - then launch out in faith that this too shall pass.

Peace,
~Al

DARKNESS

~Please Listen to my Short Introduction~

What do you do when you feel all of the depressing darkness around you? If you have spent any amount of time on this planet - you have screwed up. Yes, you can intellectually know that you are forgiven. You can know that you are doing your best to be at peace with those around you. Yet, in the midst of knowing those things, those mistakes and failures of the past have a tendency to pop up.

Darkness is a season. Darkness is Winter. It is a time to gather with those you love and feel the warmth of their love. Seasons are seasons, they pass. Knowing that it is just a season can help you know that Spring comes next. No matter how deep the Winter, it will eventually turn to Spring.

I get through darkness by getting up each day and I decide to put one foot in front of the other. Now you can stay in bed and have a royal "pity-party". Or you can get up and get on with your life. That is not an easy thing to do - every emotion in your mind is telling you to pull the blankets over your head. You have to make a conscious DECISION to get up. When you think that darkness will always be around, you have lost the battle. Albert Einstein theorized that there is no such thing as darkness, there is only the absence of light. There isn't enough darkness to extinguish one candle.

I shared my regrets that my kids do not share my faith. Yet, at the same time I am so thankful they are smart, critical thinkers. They have come out OK. They have faced divorce and even the death of their Mother. They are resilient and most importantly, they are young. When I step back and look at my regrets, I realize I am not being patient. I am not trusting the hand of God nor am I trusting my kids.

Darkness is a trickster. It makes you think that it is the only game in town. Darkness may have a hold of you right now. It is saying all is lost, you have failed -- give up! It is trying to mask all of the things in your life that are good. Even at the worst of times there are still things to be thankful. Go back to a time in your life where you actually felt the happiest you have ever felt. Picture that time in your life, see if you can even feel the emotions you felt then. Now focus on that time and only think of that. If you practice, you will start to feel those same happy emotions. When the darkness starts to wash over you, go back to that memory of happiness. One of the things I think about is hearing my kids laughing. There is no better sound to my ears than the laughter of children.

If you are a parent or are in a relationship - you have made mistakes. You also did some great things. Life isn't all or nothing. It is a lifetime that goes through season after season. Yes, Winter is here, but Spring is coming.

I hope you can see the beauty of seasons changing. All of the season we pass through are essential for us to become what God wants us to be.

Peace

~Al

PATIENCE

Over the past few weeks, I have been talking about the fruit of the Spirit. In Galatians 5:22-23, Paul talks about what should be the by-product of our faith. Today, it will be patience. I would like to share these verses from a translation by Eugene Peterson entitled, The Message:

"But what happens when we live God's way?

He brings gifts into our lives,

much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard --

things like affection for others, 

exuberance about life,

serenity.

We develop a willingness to stick with things,

a sense of compassion in the heart,

and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people.

We find ourselves in loyal commitments,

not needing to force our way in life,

able to marshal and direct our energies wisely."

As the title suggests, today we are talking about Patience. Peterson translates the word as "We develop a willingness to stick with things." I would add to that, "We develop the ability not to give up."

Of all the topics I have written, this may be one of the most difficult. Here in the U.S. we are almost hard-wired for instant gratification. We are bombarded on our computers and phones with instant text messages, emails and calls. When we watch TV, we see difficult situations resolved in 30-60 minutes. There are more and more people who do not have the time or patience to read a book. What we want - WE WANT IT NOW! As an old man I remember writing letters and waiting the days for it to be delivered and the days for an answer. This would drive most people insane today. Our kids grew up on MTV which was a barrage of 3-4 minute videos. Attention spans are getting shorter and shorter. We get our news in sound bites and just want people to give us "the bottom line". If you don't value your life, drive the actual speed limit in the fast lane. Road rage has taken on almost epidemic proportions - "GET OUT OF MY WAY, I AM HEADING TO STARBUCK'S!"

I watched the Super Bowl yesterday, admittedly I was ambivalent regarding the game, Both teams are 3,000 miles away. I did record it and then replayed it, stopping for the commercials, which are amazing. There was a commercial that aired during half-time. It was by Chrysler and featured Clint Eastwood. As it turns out, it was one of the more controversial commercials aired. Politicians and Talk-Show Hosts are politicizing it. Yes, I know Chrysler received bail-out money from the government. I have heard the arguments both pro and con. I was more interested in the content of what Clint Eastwood said than about all of the political hullabaloo. What he said was powerful and it speaks directly to this discussion. We are facing difficult times. We have faced difficult times before, yet we have always found a way out. To a country that demands instant gratification, it is time to learn patience. Here is the spot: 

As I write this short blog, it can't be too long or people won't have the patience to finish it. People all over our country are hurting. We have seen our neighborhoods ravaged by foreclosures and unemployment. We see a rising resentment to people who are successful, to our institutions and even the government. From the Tea Party to the Occupy Movement - people are angry and afraid. In the early 1960's I had neighbors that were building bomb shelters in their backyards, in case the U.S.S.R launched a nuclear attack. Now people are hoarding food, water, guns and ammunition. People have run out of patience. Patience is not some Casper Milquetoast response of putting our collective heads in the sand. It, like love, joy and peace comes from within us. It is knowing that we are citizens of the Kingdom of God before anything else - He will not abandon us. Patience does not expect instant gratification - rather preservers knowing our best days are ahead of us. Patience says we should pray, but not only pray, we need to roll up our sleeves, stop the pity party and find a way out.  

Ask God to place within you the fruit of His Spirit - LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS AND SELF-CONTROL.

If these traits are within us, we will have a bright future.


Peace
~Al

PEACE

Peace - I grew up near Berkeley, California and was a late teen during 60's. Peace symbols, tie died shirts and peace signs were prolific. As most things I believed at eighteen, my mind has matured and I now KNOW what peace means. Peace is almost a mistranslation  to convey the Greek word - eirene. The more accurate translation is "Harmony" or "Serenity". If you are lucky enough to be named Irene, your name means harmony.

Over the past few weeks, I have been talking about the fruit of the Spirit. In Galatians 5:22-23, Paul talks about what should be the by-product of our faith. I would like to share these verses from a translation by Eugene Peterson entitled, The Message:

"But what happens when we live God's way?

He brings gifts into our lives,

much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard --

things like affection for others, 

exuberance about life,

serenity.

We develop a willingness to stick with things,

a sense of compassion in the heart,

and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people.

We find ourselves in loyal commitments,

not needing to force our way in life,

able to marshal and direct our energies wisely."

Peace is one of those listed, Peterson translates it serenity. Eirene is not a passive concept or an absence of conflict. Rather, it is active and it drives people to find common ground. It comes from within us and drives us to be at harmony in our relationships, environment and ourselves. When faced with conflict or pain, it is serenity. The song below was written in the midst of unbelievable loss, yet it begins with the words: 

"When peace like a river attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll,

Whatever my lot,

Thou has taught me to say,

It is well with my soul"

~PLEASE LISTEN AND HEAR THE STORY TO THIS HYMN~

His response sums up the concept of peace. We have talked about forgiveness, joy, love, faith and many other parts of a relationship with God. Peace, or that inner harmony, like joy is what sustains us. There is nothing the world can throw in our path to derail us. Pray that God can bring harmony to your life, an inner contentment. Then share that peace with those whom you come in contact.

Peace,

~Al

~I am available to speak to churches and groups, 

Please contact me at al.lachner@gmail.com~