A beautiful prayer that comes from a heart with groaning too deep for words.
To recognize the darkness that is eclipsing my life,
to pray for the light of the Father to dawn again.
To feel weakness that robs even my body from endurance,
to pray that El Shaddai will renew my strength.
To feel the brokenness that reaches to the very marrow of my bones,
to pray that the Comforter will reconstruct what has been broken.
To see and feel the bruises that have been left on my soul,
to pray that the Great Physician will restore my heart.
To be so sick at heart that life has lost meaning,
to pray the the Father of Mercies will be the light at the end of this long and dismal tunnel.
That He will give strength to my weariness,
replace my weakness with power.
That He will empower me to soar on wings like eagles;
to run and not grow weary and to walk and not faint.
A simple posting on Facebook that spoke volumes to my torn heart. I have touched the bottom and it is sound. He has not abandoned me to yet another wasteland.
What do you do when you feel all of the depressing darkness around you? If you have spent any amount of time on this planet - you have screwed up. Yes, you can intellectually know that you are forgiven. You can know that you are doing your best to be at peace with those around you. Yet, in the midst of knowing those things, those mistakes and failures of the past have a tendency to pop up.
Darkness is a season. Darkness is Winter. It is a time to gather with those you love and feel the warmth of their love. Seasons are seasons, they pass. Knowing that it is just a season can help you know that Spring comes next. No matter how deep the Winter, it will eventually turn to Spring.
I get through darkness by getting up each day and I decide to put one foot in front of the other. Now you can stay in bed and have a royal "pity-party". Or you can get up and get on with your life. That is not an easy thing to do - every emotion in your mind is telling you to pull the blankets over your head. You have to make a conscious DECISION to get up. When you think that darkness will always be around, you have lost the battle. Albert Einstein theorized that there is no such thing as darkness, there is only the absence of light. There isn't enough darkness to extinguish one candle.
I shared my regrets that my kids do not share my faith. Yet, at the same time I am so thankful they are smart, critical thinkers. They have come out OK. They have faced divorce and even the death of their Mother. They are resilient and most importantly, they are young. When I step back and look at my regrets, I realize I am not being patient. I am not trusting the hand of God nor am I trusting my kids.
Darkness is a trickster. It makes you think that it is the only game in town. Darkness may have a hold of you right now. It is saying all is lost, you have failed -- give up! It is trying to mask all of the things in your life that are good. Even at the worst of times there are still things to be thankful. Go back to a time in your life where you actually felt the happiest you have ever felt. Picture that time in your life, see if you can even feel the emotions you felt then. Now focus on that time and only think of that. If you practice, you will start to feel those same happy emotions. When the darkness starts to wash over you, go back to that memory of happiness. One of the things I think about is hearing my kids laughing. There is no better sound to my ears than the laughter of children.
If you are a parent or are in a relationship - you have made mistakes. You also did some great things. Life isn't all or nothing. It is a lifetime that goes through season after season. Yes, Winter is here, but Spring is coming.
I hope you can see the beauty of seasons changing. All of the season we pass through are essential for us to become what God wants us to be.
~PLEASE WATCH THIS BEAUTIFUL VIDEO BEFORE YOU READ BELOW~
"Kindness" - When we read about the fruit of the Spirit, we see the template of what God wants us to become.
"The fruit of the Spirit is: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" - Galatians 5:22
Did you notice that none of those attributes talk about religious division, hatred, prejudice, doctrinal purity, church attendance or having the "Truth"? They also are not things you do, but rather what is within you. In my almost six decades, I have met many religious people. Most have had these attributes in abundance, some have used their "religion" as a tool to show their superiority over non-believers. These self-righteous paragons of Christianity have been some of the meanest people I have ever encountered. They collect their adherence to dogma and their own moral code like a Boy Scout collects Merit Badges. I believe the fruit of the Spirit is really the essence of Christianity.
The church was intended to be the incarnation of God in the midst of His creation. It was never meant to be a political or religious power. It is to be a group of people who, after placing their faith in God, continually reflect His kindness and love to everyone they encounter.
A large number of the people who follow this blog have been hurt by this very church. There are literally thousands of people who believe the church has left them. Sadly for many, they also believe God has abandoned them. I know exactly how you feel. I have written about what it was like for me to wander in the "wastelands", and it wasn't pleasant. Even though I felt betrayed and abandoned, I still knew there was a North Star within me calling me back to God. I have read a great deal about King David. He was a deeply flawed man, yet never gave up on God. He committed adultery and even planned the death of the husband of his lover. Yet he still, in his own feeble way, continued to make his way back to his Shepherd. My prayer for you is that you find your way home.
I many ways I am hoping that some church leaders will read this. To them I say, go out and find every person your church has alienated or marginalized. When you find them, apologize for your failure to treat them with the kindness God expects of you. Look at the fruit of the Spirit and see how much of your treatment of them reflects that fruit. See if reconciliation works better than judgment.
Now to the rest of you. Kindness does not cost you a penny. I would invite you to start incorporating random and intentional acts of kindness into your daily life. We live in a hostile competitive world. Kindness and compassion seem to get set aside as we continue our fast paced lives. Look for opportunities to be kind. Intentionally become an instrument of healing with those around you. Don't expect anything in return, nor expect the person to become miraculously what you want them to be. Just know in your heart you are doing what God would have you do. Maybe, just maybe, this world could become a better place.
Have a wonderful Day!
Peace
~Al
And for Josephine, Here's Johnny, and by the way, HE NAILS IT!
