~Please Allow the Words of This Song to Encourage You~
Labels are difficult to avoid. Most of us when asked to tell someone who we are respond with our vocation. I am a plumber, homemaker, minister, police officer or whatever. We do that to keep from telling people who we feel we are. I am a failure, a loser, an addict, divorced, lonely, depressed, incapable or some other label we have chosen to describe our inner hurts. Often those labels have come from a parent or other authority figure and we believed them and they stuck.
I was recently listening to a message by Joel Osteen where he spoke of "wormy" thinking. The concept grabbed me and it made sense. Over our lives we have been told who and what we are. During that same time those labels built a cocoon around us and trapped us inside. We struggle inside that cocoon and we reinforce the walls with wormy thinking. We have accepted that we are a worm and the idea of breaking free is just a distant and unattainable dream. Just as that beautiful butterfly was never meant to stay in its cocoon - neither are you!
Sometimes we forget that we are beloved by God; the Creator and Sustainer of the universe. We were created in His image. From passages like John 3:16:
"For God so loved the world that he he gave his only
begotten son That whosoever believe on him shall not perish but have everlasting life."
To Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed you in the womb
I knew you,
and before you were born
I consecrated you..."
There are times when the struggles and stresses of our life are so overwhelming we long to crawl back into our cocoon and wallow in self-pity. We forget the grace of God. I would like to remind you today that you are loved and that God does not look at where you have been -- He sees what you can become. I hope in some small way God can use these words to remind you that you are valuable and loved.
I started writing this blog a little over a year ago. I have shared intimate stories that some were shocked to hear. I have been open about the failures and successes in my own life and the church in general. Today I have been reading from a book by Jim McGuiggan and was puled back to the foundations of my faith. A faith, I believe has been long forgotten and possibly even neglected by many of us. It is a simple response to a still quiet voice that calls to us in our suffering and calls us back to what is truly important.
Here is a quote from Jim's book, Jesus, Hero of Thy Soul:
"Only Jesus could give himself to all without pandering.
Only he could treat us as individuals while insisting that we belong to one another.
Only he could forgive us fully, freely, gladly -- but without
dishonoring us or weakening our resolve for righteousness.
Having seen Jesus, knowing how he has lived his life here, we can't settle for less than a genuine pursuit of his likeness. His very presence among us forbids us to settle for just being "nice" people who do "nice" things.
(The bland leading the bland and both falling into a "nice" rut.)
"I am sick of the literature that reduces the Christian life into quiet times, fixed grins, happy talk and saccharine songs.
I am tired of writers and speakers who indulge our whimpering and whining, who prescribe endless therapy for problems we wouldn't have if we weren't so outrageously self-centered, who encourage us to feather our own already fairly comfortable nests while oohing and aahing over our inconveniences as if they were crucifixions.
"I am sick, too, of scholarly literature that pours scorn on the people of God, judging them as nothing but self-serving hypocrites who either worship themselves or a petrified faith that should have been discarded centuries ago.
These wise men for whom, I suspect, life has become sour and boring, rip away at the foundations of the Christian faith, leaving disciples unsure of who they are and what direction they should go. What has the appearance of bold scholarship has no upward call and no sure message. Rather, it's the bored and peevish ramblings of academics who have lost their way.
"Finally, I'm one of a great multitude who are sick of themselves! But not so sick that we don't know who we are and whose we are. Not so sick that we can't see the glory of the biblical Christ, can't feel the magnetism of his person and the wholesome rebuke of his life, can't recognize our hunger for something more glorious as the work of God in us.
"No, in spite of our human limitations, we see the Christ out in front of us, calling us onward and upward.
We are determined, with blood-red earnestness, to live heroically for God and the world he so loves that he gave his son." pp.4-5
In the 2,000 or so years since Jesus walked this earth, sharing a simple message, people have devoted their lives to making it more complicated, political or even palatable. His message was simple:
"Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."
The only reason I can see that message getting distorted is - WE DON'T WANT TO. Jesus and the writers of the New Testament left this message in its barest essence -- live like Jesus did, treat people as Jesus did, help people as Jesus did, forgive people as Jesus did and love people as Jesus did. I am no scholar, but I can easily say that sums up the message of Christianity. It is not summed up by how doctrinally "pure" we are. How well we dress when attending Sunday services. Who has the best worship team or the fanciest building or who can claim the most piety. It is simply, do you look to Jesus the author and perfecter of your faith? And if so, do you treat people like he did? As for me, I pray that I can see this simple response to the gift of God in my life.
~This is a beautiful song that deserves a listen.~
Grace is a difficult concept for so many of us to figure out. That God would forgive us of all of our misdeeds as a gift goes against who we are as people. Over the years the church has found numerous ways for its people to pay for that gift. There has been penance, good deeds and even detailed lists that people are forced to adhere to. The main way these have been enforced has been guilt. Yet, these feeble attempts and the guilt behind them only nullify the grace of God. If a person has been freed from earning their salvation, the works exude from them. Listen to Paul in Ephesians 2:
"For it has been by grace you have been saved, through faith
-- and this not from yourselves -- it is a gift from God --
not by works, so that no one can boast.
For we are God's workmanship (masterpiece,Gk),
created in Christ Jesus to do good works,
which God prepared in advance for us to do."
So there are works, they flow from us as gratitude for the gift from God.
Here is where the trouble comes into the equation. People mess up. I have taken messing up to an art form during my 60 years. Granted, much of that was before I became a Christian, yet a great deal has occurred since I became a Christian. I have failed my family, my church, myself and my God. I have walked away from God, with no intention of looking back and somehow He drew me home.
This week I had a conversation with a young man who has made mistakes and is trying to find his way back in serving the Lord. He is discouraged because when he is attempting to do something public in the church -- he sees the eyes of judgment of those who knew him when he was struggling with his faith. It is as though they are waiting for him to mess up again -- spoiler alert! -- he will! Just as those people who are constantly pulling him back to his mistakes. Only God knows the heart of a person. Only God knows the true struggles and temptations a person is going through.
When a person fails, we should be there to help them up. Will they mess up again? -- probably, but so do all of us. One of the reasons the church exists is to be a representation of God's love, mercy and grace. People who go to church aren't perfect, not even close. We are all there as people who have failed God and other people in our lives. We are there to encourage each other to be better people. We lend a hand when someone falls and if they fall again -- we are still there holding out a hand of reconciliation.
More than anything else, we need our Father's Eyes.
We wake each day with a gift. Too often we are so consumed with the everyday grind, we miss what is around us. Yes, I could talk about the world's problems, i.e. The economy, The Middle East, disease, war and death. If you want to hear about those things, just turn on CNN, FoxNews or MSNBC. I believe that there are far too many of us obsessing on how bad the world is and are missing the gift that each day brings. There is a wonderful verse in Psalms 118:24,
"This is the day the Lord has made,
Let us rejoice and be glad in it."
l am fully aware of the troubles that come our way and I have often spoken about those times of pain. At times the darkness is so overwhelming, we just want to crawl into a cave. I have been in that cave and the darkness was all around me -- BUT CAVES ARE DARK! The only way to get away from that darkness is to get out of your cave and walk into the sunlight. Take a moment out of each day and look for beauty, you will find it. We are a "get it done" kind of people. We fill the silence in our lives with noise and meaningless activities. Because of that we are not still enough to hear the voice of God. Regardless of the pain or hurt we are experiencing there can be beauty. I remember my ex-wife Angela, on her deathbed, had bird feeders right outside the window. She could watch the beauty around her while suffering from ALS.
We talk about having a "bad" day; that too is relative. Truth be told, no matter how bad your day is going -- someone is having a worse day. Now I do not know the context of this picture, but I can say, this guy is having a bad day. I would say he might have gotten carried away with looking for the beauty in nature and where his clothes are is anyone's guess.
Now that I have gotten the gratuitous nudity out of the way, let me just say - SLOW DOWN. Every day we are bombarded by urgent and important demands. Too often we rush to face the urgent and we miss the important. As your day starts to fill up, ask yourself if this next task is urgent or important. You will soon come to the realization that what is urgent is often NOT important. Urgent things drain us and important things fill us. Here are some important things:
Loving your family
Spending time with those you care about
Quietness
Spirituality and your relationship with God
Caring for people who have less than yourself
Helping people who can never pay you back
The laughter of a child
The embrace of a loved one.
Remember this:
I don't know of a single person on their deathbed saying,
"I should have spent more time at the office."
Learn to be still.
The song below is taken from an ancient Navajo, (Dineh) poem. It holds great truth.
Of all of the Rocky movies, my favorites were the last and the first. Everyone remembers the story of, Rocky, the underdog who gets his big break and meet Apollo Creed in the ring. We cheered when The Rocky Theme was played. Rocky calling for Adrianne after the fight - "Adrienne, I did it!". The final movie, Rocky Balboa, had the hero well past his prime. A man who had buried the love of his life, Adrienne. The Rocky Theme would play softly and very slowly as we watched Rocky sit at the graveside of Adrienne in a wooden chair - and talk to her. In the last movie, Rocky is a has-been with brain damage and he is alienated from his son. He has been to the mountaintop and now is back in the valley. He is a lonely -- BUT NOT A BROKEN man!
The scene below is, in my opinion, one of the greatest scenes I have seen in any movie:
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life...
But it ain't about how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. . It's How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done...
Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not point fingers and blame other people. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!..!!!"
This movie had a huge impact on me because what was said was so true in my own life. " Its not how hard you hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward." I think most of us have had our fair share of hits. How we respond to those hits determines if we choose to be a "victim" or a "victor". I have had some hits in my life that I thought would knock me out of the game. Honestly, my initial defensive response was to blame the situation or other people or a person in general; then I came to realize that it was my choice that caused it. I am not saying that there cannot be outside influences, but there comes a time when you have to say to yourself,
"OK, that sucked and it really hurt me - DEAL WITH IT!"
I know many people who are clinging to past pain or even past successes that have long ago gone away. In many cases losing success is one of the hardest. When I went through my divorce I had a successful Mortgage Banking company, (that was before they became the pariahs of our society), I went from making mid six-figures to nothing. The next year my gross salary was $27,000. My family was shattered, I was alone, I had lawsuits against me, I was in bankruptcy and foreclosure. I even had the District Attorney's Office deposing me to see if I had done anything that warranted prosecution. Yet, through the grace of God - I survived.
For me, it felt like I had hornets swirling around my head. It seemed that wherever I turned there was another attack - I was completely overwhelmed. I sat down one night with a pad of paper and I wrote down all of the things that I was facing. I took the hardest ones first and made a list. I had decided I would fight them one at a time. I can handle one hornet better than a swarm. One by one I took them on, but with a constant gaze toward the future. It took years and it wasn't easy but by focusing on the future I was able to defeat the past. Now, I am not Superman, there were times I felt like ending it all with a bullet to the brain. Yet the drive to make it through the "Perfect Storm" in my life gave me that North Star to guide me.
For those of you in your own "Perfect Storm", all I can tell you is to look to the future. Dwelling in the past, whether success or hurt will keep you nailed in the past. You will never move forward, you will constantly blame others and most importantly you will NEVER heal. When Paul writes in Philippians 3 he is reflecting on all of his grand accomplishments:
"But whatever was to my profit, I now consider it loss
for the sake of Christ.
What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to
the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord,
for whose sake I have lost ALL things.
I consider them rubbish (Gk. Manure/dung, rotting food),
that I may gain Christ ....
But I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus
took hold of me.
But one thing I do:
Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
(Philippians 3:7-8, 12b, 13b - NIV)
It is interesting that Paul uses a word for dung in referring to his past and present accomplishments. For Paul, his life is consumed in Jesus Christ. We should take comfort in knowing that although this world will beat you down, there is One who will lift you up. Look to the future and for help on its horizon.
Below is Rocky remembering a talk he had with his trainer Mickey. If nothing else -- Listen to the angel on your shoulder,
~A Thought Provoking Spoken Word. You May Agree or Disagree
- But Don't Forget to Think.~
I am aware there will be many who will pick apart what this young man has to say, but he is summarizing what a generation is thinking and asking. (Please read my earlier blog - Losing My Religion.) Newsweek had this cover for their "Easter Issue". When I saw the topic, I must admit I expected another attack on Christianity. However, when I read the article by Andrew Sullivan, I found it thought provoking and worth some time thinking about what he wrote.
The article was entitled, Christianity in Crisis with this being the sub-headline: "Christianity has been destroyed by politics, priests and get-rich evangelists. Ignore them, writes Andrew Sullivan, and embrace Him,(Jesus)"
Andrew starts by referencing Thomas Jefferson's Bible. For those not familiar with it, Jefferson painstakingly cut out what he interpreted as the actual teachings of Jesus Christ. He then took those sections and assembled them into a smaller, different New Testament. He removed what he considered to be misconceptions of the teachings of Jesus. He referred to them as the diamonds in a dunghill. He referred to those diamonds as:
"the most sublime and benevolent code of morals
which has ever been offered to man."
I am currently reading Simply Jesus: A New Vision of Who He Was, What He Did and Why It Matters, by N.T. Wright. N.T. (Ted) Wright is an Anglican Bishop and professor of Theology. He believes we have completely missed the message of Jesus. I would highly recommend you take a look at his book. (I put a link at the bottom so you can find it)
There is a crisis hitting Christianity. As I said in the earlier blog referenced, we are losing our kids. We are losing them to "Spirituality" - that may sound good, but it is dangerous. While many are dropping faith to embrace a rational and scientific based atheism or agnosticism, others are looking to multiple disciplines of spirituality. Many have been drawn to Eastern teachings like Buddhism, Taoism, Yoga and others. Some are exploring Native American teachings and others the New Age. Jesus is seen as just one of a large group of enlightened teachers.
One of the interesting aspects of this shift is that it is not congruent. Many of these disciplines actually conflict with the others. Yet, it appears to have become a spiritual smorgasbord; you pick what feels right, or resonates, and ignore the parts you don't like. The apparent contradictions don't matter, if it feels right - go for it.
Now on the other hand we see the church. Wracked with clergy hypocrisy, priests abusing children and then hidden by the Catholic Church. Then there are the get-rich-televangelists; preaching to their flocks God will reward them if they can donate them them. Reports of huge mansions, private jets, fleets of limos and millions of dollars - not to the flock but to the pitch person who seems to be the only one prospering.
So is the church evil? Not necessarily. A few hundred years after the death of Jesus the church had a paradigm shift -- It became a political power. It is still a political power. With our election drawing near, we have contraception being discussed by Republicans. We even have the President quoting Jesus to justify his healthcare program. Churches and Christian para-church organizations are funding Super-Pacts to support various politicians.
Jesus was apolitical. He called on his followers to give up power over others. Having that power will eventually lead to the use of violence, and we have all seen how well religion and violence has worked out. Look at Jesus' final apolitical act:
Jesus did not defend his innocence at trial.
Jesus never resisted his crucifixion.
Jesus turned to the men nailing him to the cross and forgave and loved them.
Jesus came preaching the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom of God is made up of people who have surrendered to the will of God and have asked Him the reign in their hearts. Maybe, if we would focus on the Kingdom rather than man-made buildings and corporate structures. If we truly decided to read what Jesus preached and lived it -- we wouldn't be losing our kids. The Kingdom says to love one another and even love your enemies. It calls us to forgive those who harm you. It calls us to find the best in people. It is the reign of God in your heart -- Yes, THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS WITHIN YOU! This is where N.T. Wright's book comes into play.
The purpose of the church was to have a group to encourage each other to have that kind of heart. Let us lay aside the bickering over doctrine, the gossiping and maligning of others and religious elitism.
Let's Pray That God is at the Center of our Hearts
~Please Listen to This Newer Version of the Song Amazing Grace~ This was the song at Angela's memorial service.
[There was no blog last week. I have been working on my website - www.allachner.com . It still has a bit of work to do but it progressing. I also added a Facebook page at www.facebook.com/Lachner.Al . I hope we can have discussions through these two pages. You will be able to jump back and forth between here and these two pages]
"For we too were once foolish, disobedient, misled,
enslaved to various passions and desires,
spending our lives in evil and envy, hateful and hating one another.
But when the kindness of God our Savior and his
love for us dawned upon this world,
he saved us not by works of righteousness that we have done
but on the basis of his mercy,
through the washing of rebirth and the renewing of the Holy Spirit,
whom he poured out on us in full measure
through Jesus Christ our Savior.
And so, since we have been justified by his grace,
we become heirs with confident expectation of eternal life."
(Titus 3:3-7 The New English Bible)
When the Golden Gate bridge was constructed from 1933-1937, it was an engineering marvel. It spanned the 1.7 mile opening connecting the Pacific Ocean to San Francisco Bay. During the beginning stages of the construction eleven men fell to their death, while working on the bridge. This caused a slow down in work, because the workers were in constant fear of falling. Eventually, a net was placed under the bridge which saved the lives of 19 men. They became part of the group, self-titled, "The Halfway to Hell Club". Aside from saving 19 lives it took away much of the fear that was plaguing the workers, causing the work to speed up. I find a great deal of similarities between this story and the plight of many people today who profess a Christian faith. The Church has not done much to dissuade the fear and guilt many Christians face on a daily basis. Many churches and preachers use guilt to motivate and to some extent control those in their flocks. I talk to a great many people who are miserable in their Christian faith. They are constantly wondering if the are doing enough or doing the wrong things; with the constant fear of eternal torment in the back of their minds.
This is the antithesis of how the New Testament describes Christianity. There is a net! The passage above says we were not saved by how good we are. In fact, it states the opposite. The language that is used says God saved us, we do not save ourselves. As we accept by faith that Jesus was and is the atonement for our sins and failures, we experience the grace of God. The word for Grace in Greek is Chiros or "gift". A gift is not earned, it is given. The response to a gift is thankfulness and gratitude, not guilt. Paul says in Romans 3, "Blessed is the man whom the Lord will never count his sin against him". John says in 1 John 1:7, "If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, the blood of Jesus his son (continually - present indicative active in Greek) washes away our sins." In the context of 1 John, "Walking in the light" is defined by loving your brothers and sister in Christ, (see 1 John 2:9-12.) Notice this is not an arbitrary list of do's and don't from some power hungry preacher. Ultimately, it does not come down to how many times you attended church or that you don't smoke , drink or chew or go with those who do. It is based on how you treat people.
Many churches are filled with people who have never missed a Sunday yet they are some of the most judgmental and mean people you will ever meet. They determine if people are dressed correctly, if they have the "truth" or if they are living up to some moral code they have concocted. Often their lives are consumed with gossip and using the failures of others to justify their own religious standing.
Whenever grace is brought up, James 2 comes into the discussion. James 2 talks about the need for works. That if our faith does not include works of righteousness, we have missed the mark. If you read the entire book of James, he is saying that there should be a response of gratitude by placing your faith in the grace of God. This passage is not yanking the net from under you, rather it is saying that if you have faith, you will treat people differently. Not for what you can get out of them but what you can do for them. Peter says, "We are free in Christ but do not use your freedom as a license for evil". Grace is not a "Get Out of Jail Free" card. Again it is gratitude. It is a change from the inside out. Because we have experienced unconditional love and acceptance, we feel urged to share that kind of love with those around us.
So this week, reach out to some people you may have alienated. Show grace to them. It is a good time to heal old wounds.
What do you do when you feel all of the depressing darkness around you? If you have spent any amount of time on this planet - you have screwed up. Yes, you can intellectually know that you are forgiven. You can know that you are doing your best to be at peace with those around you. Yet, in the midst of knowing those things, those mistakes and failures of the past have a tendency to pop up.
Darkness is a season. Darkness is Winter. It is a time to gather with those you love and feel the warmth of their love. Seasons are seasons, they pass. Knowing that it is just a season can help you know that Spring comes next. No matter how deep the Winter, it will eventually turn to Spring.
I get through darkness by getting up each day and I decide to put one foot in front of the other. Now you can stay in bed and have a royal "pity-party". Or you can get up and get on with your life. That is not an easy thing to do - every emotion in your mind is telling you to pull the blankets over your head. You have to make a conscious DECISION to get up. When you think that darkness will always be around, you have lost the battle. Albert Einstein theorized that there is no such thing as darkness, there is only the absence of light. There isn't enough darkness to extinguish one candle.
I shared my regrets that my kids do not share my faith. Yet, at the same time I am so thankful they are smart, critical thinkers. They have come out OK. They have faced divorce and even the death of their Mother. They are resilient and most importantly, they are young. When I step back and look at my regrets, I realize I am not being patient. I am not trusting the hand of God nor am I trusting my kids.
Darkness is a trickster. It makes you think that it is the only game in town. Darkness may have a hold of you right now. It is saying all is lost, you have failed -- give up! It is trying to mask all of the things in your life that are good. Even at the worst of times there are still things to be thankful. Go back to a time in your life where you actually felt the happiest you have ever felt. Picture that time in your life, see if you can even feel the emotions you felt then. Now focus on that time and only think of that. If you practice, you will start to feel those same happy emotions. When the darkness starts to wash over you, go back to that memory of happiness. One of the things I think about is hearing my kids laughing. There is no better sound to my ears than the laughter of children.
If you are a parent or are in a relationship - you have made mistakes. You also did some great things. Life isn't all or nothing. It is a lifetime that goes through season after season. Yes, Winter is here, but Spring is coming.
I hope you can see the beauty of seasons changing. All of the season we pass through are essential for us to become what God wants us to be.
~ This is one of the most moving songs I have ever heard. ~
I heard of yet another death this week, not a relative but a co-worker's family member. 2011 was a tough year for death in our family. I am at that age where I seem to know more people who are passing away than are getting married or having babies. I was talking with my son, Nathan, about this and told him,
"When you have more days behind you than in front of you,
you seem to reevaluate life."
So, as I sit and look at life I realize that hurt and pain comes in many forms. We do feel the sting when someone we love passes. We attempt to reassemble our lives and go on. If we are people of faith, we know that this life is temporary and a greater life awaits us on the other side of death.
However, in many ways that is a pain that fades over time. When we are hurt by a person or an institution, we are left with not only hurt but a gaping hole in our ability to trust. We are hesitant to trust people around us.
I know people who had some sort of conflict with someone years or even decades ago. Even after all this time they still carry within themselves the pain as if it were still happening. All it takes to bring it to the surface is a random memory or some other trigger. When at the surface, it is as though it was happening all over again. Military families see something similar to this when a loved one comes home from a war zone. Psychologists call this Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome or PTSD. Many people today are still wounded by some pain or hurt and are haunted by a form of PTSD.
Over my life I have had my share of hurt and pain, in my humble opinion, more than my fair share. I was trapped in the ever spiraling descent into hatred. When I heard that something horrible had happened to one of the people who hurt me - I was glad. Then, I heard the person who had hurt me more deeply than words can describe was diagnosed with ALS. Surprisingly, I was not glad, I started crying. I made the call to my ex-wife and apologized for anything I had done to hurt her and she did the same. I truly believe God touched my heart. All of the bitterness and hatred for her was gone. Along with her husband and our two children I spent much of late 2010 and early 2011 at her bedside. When she passed away in May of 2011, her husband and I sat on each side of her deathbed holding one of her hands. Since that time I have tried to rebuild relationships that were broken. Was the hatred worth it? - NO!
This carried over to me attempting to heal relationships that I had caused the hurt. Again, to my surprise, I found that to be the more difficult. When you have hurt someone, going to them and asking for their forgiveness is a difficult task. My tongue is a very effective weapon. I have used words as weapons for years. I was always very good at removing the issue from the argument turning it into a personal attack on the person with whom I was arguing.
I remember the old preacher story about the farmer, Josephine shared it with me this morning.
There once was a boy who had a bad temper.
His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he
lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy has driven 37 nails into the fence,
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger,
the number of nails he used began to dwindle down.
He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive
the nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the
boy did not lose his temper at all. He told his father about it, and
the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each
day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father
that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand
and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well my son,
but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.
When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.
You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It will not matter how
many times you say you are sorry, the wound is still there."
A verbal wound can, more often than not,
cut deeper than a physical wound.
I truly believe that the only way a person can be healed from these wounds is by the touch of God. Jesus continually told his disciples to forgive as God has forgiven you. In Jeremiah 31:34b, Yahweh says,
"For I will forgive their wickedness
and remember their sins no more"
I can still remember things that have hurt me, but the pain is gone. It is over, it was in the past and I know it is over. I don't have to relive that pain over and over again - that is gone. Yes, the wounds are still there, but they are just scars that have helped to shape me into the person I am today.
I am reminded of King David. He saw a man's wife bathing and sent for her. Being the King, he could have anything he wanted. He committed adultery with her, plotted her husband's death and eventually married her. As he was convicted of his sin by the Prophet Nathan, he wrote the 51st Psalm. You might read it. I am particularly moved by verse 4.
"Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight"
Ask God to help you forgive. Ask God to help you to seek the forgiveness of those you have hurt. God knows you better than you know yourself and he knows that this kind of pain and hurt destroys people on both sides of this equation.
Peace,
~Al
Below is a song made famous by Leonard Cohen. Listen to the words about David.
I am available to speak at churches and groups, I can be contacted at al.lachner@gmail.com
Labels are difficult to avoid. Most of us when asked to tell someone who we are respond with our vocation. I am a plumber, homemaker, minister, police officer or whatever. We do that to keep from telling people who we feel we are. I am a failure, a loser, an addict, divorced, lonely, depressed, incapable or some other label we have chosen to describe our inner hurts. Often those labels have come from a parent or other authority figure and we believed them and they stuck. 
There are times when the struggles and stresses of our life are so overwhelming we long to crawl back into our cocoon and wallow in self-pity. We forget the grace of God. I would like to remind you today that you are loved and that God does not look at where you have been -- He sees what you can become. I hope in some small way God can use these words to remind you that you are valuable and loved.
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